The Disastrous Life of Takeda Sachi
by Kickball-Chang
Summary: The 'psychic' man meets his match in the form of... A real psychic? ImayoshiXOC REWRITING
1. Chapter 1

**Heavily based off the manga Saiki-Kun no Sai Nan. I don't own both of these series. This is just a what-if thought.**

 **Italics-Thoughts**

* * *

I'm extremely terrified right now. Practically shaking in my boots, or shoes in this case. Why you ask? Well... I'm a third year at Tōō Academy, sitting next to the ever prestigious, captain of the basketball team, dirt bag, scum of the earth, Imayoshi Shōichi. He may look all polite and kind, but he isn't. Underneath the seeming sweet personality, is something so sadistic and extremely cunning that it isn't something to laugh at.

How do I know? Well... I'm a psychic, an Esper.

...

...

...

I'm not lying. I swear. Ever since I was born, I was gifted with these abilities, and I wanted to keep it hidden from the public eye, or else I'll end up as some freak show, or government or military experiment. My parents had discovered my powers as well, and they wanted me to keep it hidden, but sometimes they abuse my powers as well. The hypocrites.

I know that you probably think that I abuse my powers as well, so that also makes me a hypocrite. Well... Yes and no. Yes, I abuse my powers when the situation calls for it, and no, I don't want to abuse my powers because I kinda wanted to live a normal life. Reading minds 24/7 can only be so amazing and then you travel into the mind of a pervert and then it goes downhill from there. You can only take so much mental trauma.

Thank God, I can only have telekinesis, telepathy, and teleportation. If I had more powers, then I would be able to destroy the world, and I don't want that happening.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, scumbag Imayoshi. He's a real dick. The king of dicks. You wouldn't be able to tell right now, but if you had my powers. Oh boy. He's smart, he's cunning, he's sadistic, he's kind of hot in a strange way. I mean look at that hair and that smile. What more could you want in a guy? He's like the number one guy I want to avoid if I had a secret, and I'm sitting right next to him, and it's only the first week of school. Be strong, Takeda Sachi. Be strong. Starting as of today. I'll never talk to him. Never look at him. Never hear any rumors about him. Never go to any basketball games.

"Takeda-san, are you ready for the quiz today?" Okay scratch that. Most of the time.

"I guess so." I shrug. That's right. Say only vague statements. "Are you ready?" Dammit! No questions, you idiot!

"I suppose so as well," He laughs, and scratches the back of his head. "It would be great if it we didn't fail it, knowing that it's first test. Imagine trying to catch up with the rest of the class!" Is that bitch trying to psyche me out? Bitch please. Trying to put pressure on me when I know what's coming. _I wonder if she'll be pressured now? Stressing out over the test, and failing._ Fuck you, Imayoshi. Fuck you.

"Yeah. That would suck," I state, but not before glancing at Imayoshi on the side. He was staring... Er... Squinting ahead at the teacher passing out the quiz. Damn. I can't tell what direction he's looking at. I decide to say something that would screw me over in the long run because fuck Imayoshi. "Hopefully you won't fail, Imayoshi-san. It would be tragic." He was still staring ahead, but his perfect, disgusting smile twitched, and I smile discreetly in victory.

Takeda:1

Scum of the Earth:0


	2. Chapter 2

**Originally going to be titled 'Fuck You, Imayoshi-san'**

* * *

"You're sitting next to _who_?" My friend, Koga Junko, exclaimed, nearly dropping her milk bread, while I calmly stare ahead, looking at nothing in particular, stressfully eating my bread as I thought about how to avoid Imayoshi. _Oh my gosh. Is she joking? Sachi-chan should be joking... But she hardly jokes around. Maybe she's trying to be a comedian. There's no way she could score a seat next to the basketball captain._ Your confidence in me astounds me, Junko. _Should I fake laugh? Yeah... I'll do that._ Junko awkwardly chuckles. "Serio-"

"Yes," I interrupt bluntly, still thinking about my master escape plan. Should I pretend that I'm sick? Nah. The nurse will know. I can't exactly ditch unless I erase everyone's memory of my existence, but that's honestly too troublesome. Junko nudged me with a grin on her face.

"Saving all the meat for yourself, huh?" She joked, while I was not amused. "Oh what's wrong? He can't be that bad." Gain telepathic powers and look inside the god damn captain's mind, and you'll understand what I mean, but I did not say that.

"I just have this feeling," I responded vaguely. Junko rolled her eyes. _She's so paranoid._ I was about to protest that statement, but I stopped myself.

"The guy has his own fan club for crying out loud, and I hear that he's a nice guy-" Well I think he's a sadistic scum bag awaiting for my downfall because I saw right through him. "-and he's got this sexy accent and he's intelligent-" Junko began listing all the good qualities about this guy, and I tuned her out, incredibly disinterested with the conversation about how great Imayoshi is.

"Sounds like you want to marry the guy," I drawl and hear her sputter in weak protest. I slightly smirk.

"N-No!" Junko denied, red slowly creeping into her cheeks. "I-I'm just t-trying to make him sound more appealing to you!" _Not that I think that you're lesbian or anything._

...

"W-Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," I answer, feeling slightly irritated at her thoughts. "Don't bother coming. It's a stinker."

"U-Uh, o-okay..." _Ew, gross, dude. Too much information._

* * *

As much as I hate to admit it and I never thought I would ever narrate this, but I ended up contemplating life in the girl's bathroom because I didn't want to be bothered. If I headed back to class, there was a chance that Imayoshi would be there and try to irritate me and bug me and talk to me, and I didn't exactly want that. I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face, sitting on top of the toilet cover in a random stall. I never thought that my final year of high school would be making things more complicated than they actually are. I need to try and be less popular, which is weird coming from a high school girl. Suddenly I hear some female students entering the bathroom, laughing and gossiping and making fun of other students.

"Hey, hey! Did you guys hear about the student sitting next to Imayoshi-kun?" Dammit. What is with this Imayoshi hype? What's so great about him (besides his looks)? _Man. She's lucky._ Hell no.

"Oh yeah! Heard she came to Tōō last year, barely talked to people. Only talked to some girl. Ginko or something?" Junko actually. Get your facts straight. _I'm hungry._ Eat lunch. You fool.

"Eh~ She sounds pretty weird." I'm pretty sure that there are more loners at this school than me, therefore it is not weird. "Maybe she has some menta-" I'm sorry. As much I as want to hear you diss me, I don't need some false rumor about my mental state. I pressed my right index and middle finger to my temples, and stretched my left arm out to help target the girls and enter their minds (This action is not necessary, but I want to look cool). Fact of the day: Did you know that a person's room reflects their mental consciousness and their personality? Well it does by the way.

Every mind is different in their own way, shape, and form, reflecting all different kinds of personalities and interests. For example, Junko's mind is a bunch of long hallways connected to each other, and usually she has a one track mind, and sometimes it diverges into different thoughts. Finding information in her head is not necessarily hard, but it's difficult, and it's even more difficult when you have to go into the mind of three hormonal, teenage girls.

I enter into the first girl's mind. All thoughts about Imayoshi and guys in general, but mostly about Imayoshi, and I flinch. This is way too creepy and stalkerish to even describe. I see this small piece of paper sitting on the desk, and I go over to pick it up, and to see the words written on the paper: 'Weird girl who sits next to Imayoshi-kun.' I tore up the paper, scattering the pieces.

I traveled to the next girl's mind, and saw a dining room full of food on a long table. Now this is going to be tough to find my information camouflaged as food. Think Sachi. Think. I'm a small topic. Not large enough to be of importance. I'm not a buffet. I crouch on my knees and I see a small lone grape sitting underneath the long table. Found it.

Finally, the third girl's mind… It was white and tidy, from wall to wall and floor to floor, a whiteboard attached to a wall with a few words written on it. I just erased the part where it had said 'gossip'.

I got out of the girls' minds, and I blinked a few times in order to get myself adjusted.

"…What are we doing in the bathrooms?" One girl asked.

"I don't know… Let's get lunch!" The second girl suggests.

"Oh my gosh. You're always hungry…" The girls step out of the bathroom, their voices becoming distant, and I sigh in relief, a headache beginning to appear in my head, and I rub my temples in order to soothe them. When those girls were talking about me, I realize that there may be more Imayoshi-crazed people out there in Tōō Academy...

And that meant more rumors about me.

* * *

 **DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN**

 **Will Imayoshi find out about Takeda's secret?**

 **Will Takeda end up falling in love will Imayoshi (Hell yeah. Why else am I writing this?)**

 **Find out next time on Dragon Bal- Fuck. I mean, The Disastrous Life of Takeda Sachi!**


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